Blue October - The End

Here alone, standing barefoot in our lawn,
Worms squeezing their way through my toes
Tonight that’s how it goes.
I’m at your window kneeling quiet,
I thought at least I’d maybe try to get your head right
Get your heart right
“Let him go!”

Then through the glass I see your dress fall to the floor
As he embraces every inch of you
The woman I adore.
I can’t believe the way you’re bending
Can’t believe this neverending moaning asking him for more
I heard you begging him for more

How far will I go
To make it feel right? “Come home”
I have to fix this on my own

Replace my heart,
Cause I’m convinced mine broke the day I let us end
Replace my heart,
I don’t wanna live by coping, I’m done with hoping…..end

I creeped in close enough to see the way he touched her,
From her feet across her knees, inside her sweetest spot
he pleased and pleased her.
I turned around and tried to take control, but no control was capable
It was a centerfold of how less than low can possibly go.

I squeezed the life into my brain
Like pushing knives into a vein
I’ve gotta get, I’ve gotta get, I said I’ve gotta get inside
So to the back window I crawl in silent standing in the darkness
Of my living room, my living room
This used to be my home

How far will I go
To make it feel right? “Come home”
I’m moving forward to the bedroom door

Replace my heart
Cause I’m convinced mine broke the day I let us end
Replace my heart
I don’t wanna live by coping, I’m done with hoping…end

I turn the doorknob with two fingers to be slow
Enough to sneak into the room among the corner darkness gloom
I had to see this happening.
He pushed himself so deep inside her clapping rang and bounced off every wooden walled room
And that’s when all went silent blank except the color red
As I walked calmly numbing paralyzed beside the bed
I said “I know I’m not allowed to be here. I just had to see
How good this new man really fucks you. Cause you both been fucking me.”

“So now I planned the last thing you can both do as a pair
I tie both blindfolds tight around your fucking eyes to blind your stare
I don’t want to alarm you, but I figured we could end this in what seems easy quick and painless
So I’ll get down to business
I choose you first, there’s a gun, its at your head
So laugh at me just one more time but keep your face inside the bed
You sit and watch me while I do this shit and learn from what I’ve said.”
I cocked the pistol pulled the trigger, and all I saw was red

Then the screaming oh the screaming
It’s nice to see you scared
Of such a weak and stupid husband
Who knows you never really cared
I’ll leave you with a question that I need to hear from your head
Was all this worth it knowing u have just seconds left to live?

Now think about your answer, laying face down on the bed
I cocked the pistol pulled the trigger and all I saw was red
I gently stroke her arm as she lies lifeless on her back
Then placed the barrel in my mouth
All I saw was black.